Review: ‘Stuck On You’ by Jasper bark

Stuck on youThe first noticeable thing about any book is the title and Jasper Barks novella Stuck On You has that universal appeal of being short and simple. It could mean anything…that is until you start reading the first page and realise that the title is literally the storyline.

There is no build-up to the action; no long-winded attempt to seduce the reader with little morsels of information. We are, instead, thrust (thrust, hehe) straight into the dilemma faced by the protagonist, Ricardo. In the opening scene we find Ricardo with his dangly bits deep inside the lovely Consuela. Now, if he’d been the sort of man to sit on the sofa watching daytime talk-shows, he may have been aware of the dangers of having sex in a forest during a lightning storm, but no. Ricardo is too much of a man for that so, instead, he finds himself in a bit of a nasty situation. One of those lightning bolts just happens to land slap-bang on his backside, passing through him to Consuela, killing her outright, and fusing the two of them together.
Ricardo is left with two choices. Stay where he is and hope that someone finds him or figure out a way to get through the forest and find the medical attention he desperately needs. Of course, with a dead body in tow, that’s not as easy as it sounds. I’m not going to say anything more about the storyline as I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but, trust me, it just keeps on giving.

What I can say is that you can expect a wonderful combination of horror, erotica and dark humour. The characters are brought to life (even though one of them is dead before we even begin) using a series of flashbacks and the author has managed to create sympathy for a morally-challenged character by placing him in a situation you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy (unless of course you’re me, then bring it on!). We even get to meet the local wildlife which is great for all you animal lovers out there.

Every paragraph in this novella is expertly crafted and the sex scenes feel very natural so I should be telling you to go and buy this NOW…but I won’t. Not until I’ve warned you (and this book needs a great big warning sign slapped across it). This is extreme horror at its best, to the point where I needed a few glasses of wine just to be able to write about it. If you have a weak stomach, don’t buy this book. If you’re not a fan of gory horror, don’t buy this book. And if you’re looking for a quick read before moving on to something else, don’t buy this book. I promise you, it will make you feel very uncomfortable and physically sick, and it will stay with you for a very long time. To enjoy this book should be wrong, very wrong, but Jasper Bark has created something very special and it needs to be read.


Stuck On You is published by Crystal Lake Publishing and is currently available in ebook format on Amazon (links below). It is also the flagship story for a soon-to-be-released short story collection which I’ll be counting down the days to buy.

Buy Stuck On You from Amazon UK

Buy Stuck On You from Amazon US

You can also visit Jasper Bark’s website here:

And Crystal Lake Publishing here:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s